Feeling Strong


I had a moment with my daughter I really learned from this week.  She wants to bake a cake one evening.  I said that it was absolutely fine.  I went off to do some work and she left it for an hour and a half later.   She then started getting out the mixer and started measuring the sugar and weighing her eggs and all the things you’re supposed to do when you make a cake. Only by that time it was too late to start.  It was nearly bedtime.

My husband picked up on it said you can’t do that now.  At which point it was like disaster had struck.

“But mama said that I could!  It’s not too late! I didn’t see the time! Mom said I could do it before I went to bed!”

Defense. Defense. Defense.

Eventually, she said “but I’m just so disappointed that I can’t and make this cake”.

At which point everybody was able to deal with it because that was the emotion that she was feeling. It was the defensive response that we all feel, which is so difficult to deal with.  She was just trying to protect herself from the emotion of feeling disappointed.

I’m Defensive

I do this as an adult.  I don’t know about you.  But when someone.  Gives me some criticism or feedback or is trying to help me, my initial response can be, “But I have got better right? You know I I have been working really hard at this”.

Let The Bad Come

It is a defensive way to react.  Where is when I let myself feel the disappointment of, “I have not been doing enough”.  Now can do something about that.

So today if you’re in the line of fire or if someone gives you some criticism take it.  Let it come.  Stop protecting yourself from feeling bad.

It Always Passes

Allow the bad feeling to come because, you know what, it passes.

Have a great day.

You’ve got this!,

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